And my ninth-favorite racial fetishizer won’t stop messaging me.
My fifth favourite smooth-skinned exotic beauty has not messaged me back; I’ve been masturbating with my own tears
your standards are astonishingly low
Well, I can’t say that I will get your/you’re right everytime but I try. Sometime it gets by me. I like your profile. It was the first one that came up and I thought that was significant enough to at least say hi. I like your style. Very funny. I just signed up.
this is why you don’t let google voice write your messages for you
you seem exotic I mean like you stress yourself private room austin when you say f**cken I do agree with that though but you just gotta be very careful and specially yep when you meet the person
actually, i just wanted to confirm you look just like andy from twin peaks
I caught you red hand checking me out and you are afraid to message me bc you think you will fall madly in love with me and you tink I bite but I don’t bite so email me back wimp!!
remember that investment banker who creeped out the internet a while back? please enjoy this dramatic reading of his letter, courtesy of the super brophy brothers, and their podcast, which obviously you should check out.
never give up
- some dude i've never talked to: long time no see you how are you doing
- me: do girls actually fall for that and think that they've met you before?
- some dude i've never talked to: no not yet i m not online all the time if you dont mind can we also contact on cellphone i think we can get know each other better
i don’t think 3rd generation italian counts
Hi beautiful :-) …u look really familiar
do i know u from somewhere?
Ps-have u ever been with a european guy before?
crossing it off the to-do list
Remind me to never get stranded in a large body of water with you.
Hmm, no pic, deleted profile…am I being hit on by a ghost?
Hello my Dear How are you doing..I would Like to have a tlk with you…please call me or i can have your number and call you so we can talk much..hope to hear from you my Dear…(000)-000-0000
so did you fail the bar, or just life in general?
i’m not really a ‘lawyer’, your apathy towards lawyers is really a reflection of your own self hatred not lawyers per se. anyway, after some therapy, call me if you would like to hook up. you are very do able
dr. who is dead. you killed dr. who.
like the doctor, i will show up out of no where and sweep you of your feet. take you on a jerny of time and space, take you to the world of Pokemon where i Beedrill you hard. then where of to a gallexy far away, now your my deth star and i am your jedi, and with my light saver i penitrate your trench. next where paret of marvel, i sneek over three comic strips just to be with you, iron man givs us a lift, and we engag in free fall love, gust to land crateled in spiter mans web. we step in to the world of games, you body is my controler and i got to bet this lvl on galaga, sreisly it’s a bitch. all this hapens cus you and me live in the world of syfi baby, and were geting freky like twilight zone.
curses, you got me! i can’t think of a single one.
are you really a lawyer? what law school did you go to?
